Finite Monkeys

Olivia as a Bear

2006-01-26T22:55:00.000-05:00

This is the absolute favorite picture of my daughter, Olivia.

Crazy Bird

2006-01-26T13:43:00.000-05:00

This cool character arrived in my chimney in mid-september. I spent 2 hours trying to coax him out with food, nice words.
My wife's friend, Nina, reached in and gently grabbed him in less then two seconds.

She was nice enough to place him in this little case for photos, then we let him fly, fly, away.

He flew straight to my roof.

Latest Photo of the US

2006-01-26T13:10:00.000-05:00

This is the latest photo of us. I think I'l publish it in case you see me in the street ant want to throw money. Now you know who to throw it at.

I'm the one on the left.

A review of WMD

2004-06-04T11:42:00.000-04:00

I posted WMD on a few poetry sites and contests as a lark...

It seems that, if you don't know they were spam, they're crap?

This reader, who I think read WMD on one of those poetry sites I submitted it to, didn't like it:

Hello,

I’m sorry to say this, but I think your poetry is really bad. I am generally a hater of poetry, but your seems to be the epitome of everything I hate about poetry – it has no rhyme, it has no flow, it uses ugly words, and makes no sense.

Realise that if you poetry is not accesible to the common man, the common man will not read it.

I wrote back to ask where the sender read my poem, assuming it wasn't on this blog.

I'll let you know if I receive any more "reviews."

- Andrew

Homage to Calvin's Father

2004-06-03T20:34:00.000-04:00

a poem by Andrew Yahner and various spam messages

expose not yet quit vocally
The utterance is a textured hand

Catch the thicket!
for grasses put down pitifully

A sky lives, spilling joyfully to a zaftig grasshopper
Its wall wiped in the promise of a torch

The guy is a mushy loaf
But where demonstrates the secretion
within the creepy clocks!

But where speculates the worm,
as though shades were chariots,
as though forks were people

Lives painfully, friendly, like chariots proving, intrepidly
Exposing complacent mice here
about the clear bleach

A Simple Life

2004-06-03T11:12:00.000-04:00

a poem by Andrew Yahner and various spam messages

the person has liked quite positively
lying to the internet
Ruin meaning

Put down by knives, says the table to picnic
masquerade along the fork

Play grasshoppers with no spledid carpenter
walk the aqua culture
destroying Of gangsters

Unfortunately marking, the nectar peels as season
The chair is a poor llama, for signs play shadily
For each fork, transmutate of the serious canister
The stove goes, as if the girl is a pit.

The Violin

2004-06-03T00:14:00.000-04:00

a poem by Andrew Yahner and various spam messages

what is a violin, but a textured fear?
The prefabricated case tells doubly, plainly.
And what is an unicorn, but a breezy canister?
Puts down angrily, doubtfully, like explorers showing
Put down by acorns
for signs penetrate unexpectedly

Sellin

2004-06-02T23:57:00.000-04:00

a poem by Andrew Yahner and various spam messages

hit not
yet hit jokingly
conducts the grass to person
strikes boldly, succulently, like drugs undoing
Peeling poor snacks here
The spill hit honestly, juicy stole the strong gangster

The Ark

2004-06-02T23:51:00.000-04:00

a poem by Andrew Yahner and various spam messages

A guest haunts, reconciling pitifully to a lonely sheep
A frog conducts, penetrating honestly to a hard
speeches, the lion will throw out kiss Upon scary queens

But where speaks the moose, as though shadows were secretions
In stains, the utterance will ruin
Lift futon, seduce along the grasshopper

Niew Amsterdamikje

2004-06-02T23:45:00.000-04:00

a poem by Andrew Yahner and various spam messages

Get going now.
no more offers
the drug dealer is spicy
Get a hot steamy date tonight
We start you off with 5 free dollars to play with!

WMD

2004-06-02T23:35:00.000-04:00

a poem by Andrew Yahner and various spam

The promise undid lightly
Find out everything you ever wanted to know
marine killed the helpless conflict
And walls prove, ruining by speaking abruptly yet concisely
hot mothers of america break free from being housewives
When linguists dive in late lions, the glass kills
Turtles like nostrils explain unexpectedly but jokingly
The elephant uncovers, as if the grass is a plant
Where torch conducts through undoing, shadily

And finger mark

stealing by pondering undeniably yet unfortunately

Finger penetrates a plaid canister

Undoing Pictures

2004-06-02T23:25:00.000-04:00

a poem by Andrew Yahner and various spam

(This one was literally copied word for word, in order, from one message. I only edited line breaks!)

Of girls, say the ghastly entity,
destroying Hit content

call along the table, request Of shadows,
tell the pleasant shadow, transmutating Under the tower,
flies a late vessel.

Where bush uncovers through displaying, plainly, Ingenious fear
as a day cleans about the beautiful lamp, And torches request
peeling by wiping pleasantly yet wordlessly,

Under the theater, hits a torpid disc.
Under the rock, dresses a rank speech.

Guys like sparks make honestly to woman, undoing Pictures
like towers revolve infinitely to snack,

finishing Spoken by nights, devours the gut to meaning.
Upon ugly answers, kill not yet throw out unexpectedly

What sick plant of spill within the happy guests!
In heaps, the loaf will lift, fly not Slyly seeing

the glance hits as llama.

Perfect Living

2004-06-02T23:13:00.000-04:00

a poem by Andrew Yahner and various spam

The glass walked vocally,
martha become spring
Swedish lived the textured clock
its a wild and shocking show
Ordering the best meds should be simple
The scary car lives pitifully, jokingly.
Quickly demonstrating
erections so strong and full
And holes kill, exposing by dressing joyfully yet pleasantly
fullfill their fantasies by getting buck wild with perfect strangers.
purge my name from this database

x

2004-06-02T23:05:00.000-04:00

a poem by Andrew Yahner and various spam

And flat, Also man there . need, Are thing The any.
A toothpick, It grabbing she upon.
And twisted x, thank also The tapping
and the g is pale there
Or dress, Are giving lessons to x
there that's in front of their slice of bread and car.

stop send me ads

2004-06-02T22:03:00.000-04:00

by Andrew Yahner and Yahoo spam filter

chasing, It shy the duck?
The into and now a yoyoyoma, there they.
create your own happiness
A insect a wasn't he move is becoming.
The crooked, an go there wasn't, and crying with there funny
Their strong their ride also found l
stop send me ads.
stop send me ads.
Grow your manhood. Results are stunning, women cant resist it.
stop send me ads.